postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother ("pain will make you stronger")
I made it to 34. Amazing!
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother ("pain will make you stronger")
Still around and reading, I just haven't found much time to really type out anything of any significance other than a post in the breast feeding to look for some support.

Anyhow, will be taking a late flight Friday evening to Fort Collins, CO and will be there for a little over two weeks. It's Stephen's spring break. His school is on a modified year round school year so they have these insanely long breaks every few weeks throughout the year, and we only have about two months of summer and the school years starts at the end of July.

Not sure what my plans are for the summer.

Anyhow, I thought I would just say that I am still around and reading.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother ("pain will make you stronger")
This is just a cut and paste from FB that I plan to edit and update when I have more time:

I don't understand how the pediatricians missed that Lilith has such an extremely tight tongue tie on both the lower and upper lips. Now that I know what I am looking at it's obvious to me, I knew something was wrong because of how shallow the latch was, but it was unclear what the problem was. It is what has caused Nipple blanching and vasospasm for my nipples but I didn't connect that with the pain and just thought huh my nipples look weird, oh well. Glad it's not thrush though like we though! My personal doctors PA even though it might be mastitis. I mean, this was so simple and totally missed by people who just dismissed me by saying, just stop using the nipple shield and her mouth looks that way because she sucked funny in the womb! Had my supply not been so awesome she could have lost a lot of weight and gotten very ill! I am SO pissed!


We see a doctor about the tongue tie and the upper lip frenulum issues on Wednesday I tried to see if their were other bottles on the market that had a nipple that made things easier for her. So far, none seem to be better :/ Currently she is still going to the beast, then I pump and she get's some milk from a bottle since she can't get it all out for herself and it causes me a lot of discomfort. She much prefers the breast to a bottle, but it breaks my heart to see her have difficultly latching to either :/
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
Writing this from Bozeman, Montana where we are stopped for the night on the way to Fort Collins, Colorado. We have about another 500 miles to do tomorrow, maybe it's 600, we should hopefully make it by the evening sometime.

I wish Stephen was sleepy, instead of awake and poking me with his fingers and toes while trying to stick rocks through my arms and under my legs. My dad has purchased separate rooms both last night and tonight which is probably good for him because at least one of us is able to get a full 8 hours of sleep. Stephen falls asleep fine on his own, but even if I turn off the lights and all that he stays awake until he is super tired.

Jeramy sent me a quick e-mail from Iraq yesterday, I didn't get it until today. I have been having really strange dreams about him every night since he left. He says we may not be able to skype at all and that he will be on night shift, but we are hoping to have some connection. He asked for towels and some pictures of me and Stephen thus far, but didn't provide and address yet. I miss him a lot to say the least. Stephen has said multiple times today "daddy, home!" and "daddy!" in a sad voice. I say "daddy is at work" and then we hug or kiss his daddy doll and that seems to do the trick at least for now. 6 months is going to be a long time, and it will be even longer if they extend the deployment through Feb which had been talked about.

oh well.

and, this whole thing sucks, I'm totally going to be dramatic and say I feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest and that I am missing a piece of myself. blah.

I've also been having dreams that I think are my thoughts trying to wrestle with what is going on.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
There are a lot of thoughts floating around which I haven't written down and I hope to get them out soon. One of my plans for the future is to start creating more again. I want to start writing more, working on poetry again, photography, work on making jewelry like I used to. I want to learn to sew, and to learn to bake break as well as cook more.

we still don't really know what the heck is going on with the deployment, and are trudging forth with Stephen's therapies. I have some interest in the Motorola xoom as a possible thing to use with Stephen. Though currently the Ipad has more applications for speech issues. The xoom feels tougher though to me.

the plan is still to go to Colorado, but I don't know when that is happening.
postmodern_hysteric: ("Madeleine Lemaire")
I have gone out, a possessed witch,
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disaligned.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
seeing if cross posting works. hmm.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
At grandma and grandpa booths in Rhinelander, WI. We are visiting since Jeramy's parents are soon moving to MI. Stephen is sure having fun playing with Gizmo, Tammy's(Jeramy's mother) Boston terrier. Snapped this with the built in web cam. I don't have a lot of time for the real camera, so this is what i often use.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
just trying out the new site.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
excuse all the other crap on my bedroom floor in the photo, but I had to show these photos of my little nerdy man. His outfit (footie, sweater, and booties) are a baby gap outfit from his Aunt Alison and Uncle Richard:

From 3_6_2009


From 3_6_2009


here he is in just the footie:

From 3_6_2009


and here he is with Daddy who came home for a lunch break:

From 3_6_2009


I decided I had to add this one:

From 3_6_2009
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
excuse all the other crap on my bedroom floor in the photo, but I had to show these photos of my little nerdy man. His outfit (footie, sweater, and booties) are a baby gap outfit from his Aunt Alison and Uncle Richard:

From 3_6_2009


From 3_6_2009


here he is in just the footie:

From 3_6_2009


and here he is with Daddy who came home for a lunch break:

From 3_6_2009


I decided I had to add this one:

From 3_6_2009
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
I had some errands to run. Jeramy said he would watch the baby, while I was out I called home, he said my computer did something weird and it looked like it had blue screened, I said that was pretty normal because there is too my crap on my hard drive. I cam home to find this at my computer. he got the crystal vase himself, picked out the flowers and arranged them himself! hiding behind a card was a beautiful necklace. I cried. he makes me so happy, I cry.

From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens

Stephen's new funky toy. You can pull it's legs, and hit it so it giggles, and hell it even has fun fur!


From friday_the_13th_valentiens

Stephen's new funky toy. You can pull it's legs, and hit it so it giggles, and hell it even has fun fur!

From friday_the_13th_valentiens

Stephen hanging out in the car seat after his dinner and getting ready to go to dinner with us.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
I had some errands to run. Jeramy said he would watch the baby, while I was out I called home, he said my computer did something weird and it looked like it had blue screened, I said that was pretty normal because there is too my crap on my hard drive. I cam home to find this at my computer. he got the crystal vase himself, picked out the flowers and arranged them himself! hiding behind a card was a beautiful necklace. I cried. he makes me so happy, I cry.

From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens


From friday_the_13th_valentiens

Stephen's new funky toy. You can pull it's legs, and hit it so it giggles, and hell it even has fun fur!


From friday_the_13th_valentiens

Stephen's new funky toy. You can pull it's legs, and hit it so it giggles, and hell it even has fun fur!

From friday_the_13th_valentiens

Stephen hanging out in the car seat after his dinner and getting ready to go to dinner with us.
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
ok, so, i'm trying to keep track of people since things are up in the air. who has a weblog else where?
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
ok, so, i'm trying to keep track of people since things are up in the air. who has a weblog else where?

slingbaby

Dec. 27th, 2008 10:18 pm
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)

slingbaby
Originally uploaded by siorruidhe
wearing Stephen in my ring sling from Birth and Beyond which is an awesome store in Seattle for cloth diapering and other baby supplies. The white thing is a burp rag because the poor little guy has pretty bad reflux.

slingbaby

Dec. 27th, 2008 10:18 pm
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)

slingbaby
Originally uploaded by siorruidhe
wearing Stephen in my ring sling from Birth and Beyond which is an awesome store in Seattle for cloth diapering and other baby supplies. The white thing is a burp rag because the poor little guy has pretty bad reflux.

hubband

Dec. 19th, 2008 06:41 pm
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
I LOVE MY MAN :D

hubband

Dec. 19th, 2008 06:41 pm
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
I LOVE MY MAN :D
postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
ok, so since it e-mails people now, it being LJ. I removed a bunch of people becuase we don't really talk or i'm not on the friends setting, and I figure that if people arn't wanting me to read their personal posts they are probably not reading my personal posts and we are just not that close, and I tried going totally open and I realized I am not talking at all about things, so I guess I'm going to start making filters and make things friends only.

Profile

postmodern_hysteric: revelations of the dark mother (Default)
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